Getting even!

[deliac]

Okay, I know this is immature, but I just couldn't help myself...

For some reason, I've been getting psychic letters. I've never ordered anything psychic - I'm not even very interested in the subject - but somehow I got on a list.

The first few I read, laughed, then ripped the letter up. But they keep coming and now it's getting annoying.

Today's was from Skye Alexander. I started thinking that this must be some kind of huge mail fraud thing, so I went online to look it up and found this board.

These "Psychics" should be ashamed of themselves - ripping off innocent people like that. The more I read, the more I thought about it, the madder I got. Okay, I positively know what I did next is wrong, but I just had to.

I responded to Skye Alexander's letter by filling out the order form the most sarcastic way I could think of - ya know, like, filling in "Mars" as my place of birth, etc And I made my own "check box" that said "yes, take me off your freakin mailing list" and, of course, I checked it. I filled in my credit card numbers in the following fashion:

B-I-T-E-M-E

Then my signature:

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Then I thought - "if Ms. Alexander wants 20 bucks, I'll give it to her". I even went as far as to Xerox copy a 20 dollar bill. I drew a conversation bubble coming from President Jackson's mouth sporting the words: "Stop ripping people off" then proceeded to write "ha ha ha ha ha ha..." all over the rest of the fake bill. I put the bill and the order form in the handy-dandy return envelope (enclosed for my convenience) and mailed it. It was worth the 37 cents because I haven't laughed this hard in a very long time

I'm pretty sure this will take me off their list...either that or I'm gonna turn into a frog or something

[sceptic]

Ribbit...ribbit...ribbit...ribbit...ribbit...ribbit...

Ok, your approach may have worked. However, I have finally found another that seems to have worked. My mother was receiving mailings from these "psychics" and when she died February last year I collected them on the basic that if these Psychics are any good, they'll have noticed that she is no longer in this world.

After 3 months I gave up waiting and started to return the envelopes with a sticker over the address window clearly stating "Addressee Deceased, Return to Sender". That continued for the next 3 months or so.

My next attempt to get them to stop was to open the mailings, add a letter telling them of her demise (one straight forward, a second based on the Dead Parrot Sketch by Monty Python - my mother is an EX-PERSON) which I then stuffed in their return envelope and posted without postage.

And still they come. So my next ploy was to send a licence for the use of my deceased mother's name and address for the purpose of selling their wares. Put simply, if they want to use her name & address to peddle their wares, then the fee for such usage would be £10,000 + UK taxes. If they did not agree to this, then refrain from sending any further mailings. Agreement would be proved by the arrival of further mailings. (If this is non-binding, then so is the click-thru' "I agree" to M$'s EULA - in neither case is a signature given, and in both cases the conditions of use is clearly set out and if those conditions are unagreeable, then what to do is also set out.)

And yet more came from one "psychic". I have now sent "her" an invoice for £30,000 and another for £10,000. The first was due to be paid by end of April, the second by about now. I have received no further mailings - now I will have to continue mailing, as I also stated that there was a late payment penalty of 4% per day of outstanding balance.

I have also sent the same licence to other "psycics". I am now about to go through the post for my deceased mother from the last week to see if they've paid any attention to me now.